Body hair. If you look like a sasquatch, then you will need to either shave or wax your body hair. I’m talking about people with especially hairy backs or chests, etc. (not pubes – more on that later). A sasquatch is a large hairy beast (also known as “Big Foot”) that supposedly lives in the wilderness of North America. A sasquatch has thick hair everywhere – like a bear. All women that I have ever talked to tell me that there is absolutely nothing attractive about a hairy back, or a matching hairy chest. They all say to wax it or shave it off. Some guys might think that a really hairy front or back means they are just extremely masculine – with enough testosterone in their veins to pump out hair everywhere. Well – maybe that is true … I really couldn’t say. But what I do know is that women do not like the sasquatch look! My point – if you are a sasquatch, it is time to get yourself waxed. Shave that back and chest, at the very least. If you do not believe me, then ask several female friends of yours.
Speaking of body hair, don’t neglect the subtle body locations that can grow hair as we get older. I’m talking about nose hair, hair growing from within the ears, hair growing on the edges of your ears … even your eyebrows. You can be the most perfect-looking midlife bachelor in every way – but if you’ve got hair growing somewhere weird, then that is what women will notice first. I remember several years ago, I visited a customer at a local division of Boeing. The guy was in his mid-forties, and was fairly normal-looking … except that he had a lot of visible hair growing out of his ears. It looked disgusting – and my eyes kept getting drawn to it (like a train wreck – you’ve just got to look). I’m positive this guy had no idea that the hair in his ears was that out of control and obvious – and no, I didn’t say anything to him (since I was there on a sales visit, and trying to essentially sell him something). My point is – be mindful of the fringes. If you have hair growing out of your nostrils, or on or inside your ears – trim it often, or better yet pluck it. If you have one large, thick unibrow – get it waxed. If you notice something yourself, and wonder whether it is a problem – it probably is a problem. When in doubt – get rid of the offending hair.
Pubic hair – oh my god. This one is BIG and really important – so please pay close attention here. Let me start with a short story. Roughly ten years ago or so, I hooked up with this extremely sexy Latina woman who was ten years older than me. This woman was recently divorced, and horny as hell. Her name was Diane, and she had the tastiest lips … the sexiest mouth … the most perfectly-shaped body … outstandingly large breasts … plus she dressed a little hoochie, and looked absolutely stunning. Right out of the starting block, Diane and I wound up in bed – during the first date. As I got undressed, and took off my pants and underwear – Diane gasped when she saw my pubic hair. The first thing she said to me was that she was going to need to shave it all off … and I responded with something like, “Huh?” Make no mistake – nothing stopped me from finishing my work with Diane that night … and I continued to work on her for months! I did start paying a lot more attention to my pubic hair from that point forward – just because it was embarrassing for her to tell me that it was too long. [I used to wonder if other women in my past were just too uncomfortable with the subject – hmmmm.] Many of the women I’ve been with since that time have told me (after I asked) that they prefer short-cropped pubic hair … just because it represents better hygiene. And so this is the lesson I pass along to you, my midlife bachelor friends – trim that pubic hair! You don’t need to have it waxed off – just get yourself some electric shears, and keep that pubic hair short. I trim mine maybe once every two weeks or so. Be sure to trim everything down there, too – no hairy balls, no hairy ass, no hairy anything down there! Just be careful not to injure yourself while shaving!
