The woman you were dating has suddenly stopped returning your calls and/or emails. You thought you had something good going on with her – so why did this happen? For whatever reason, she has probably lost interest in you.
Midlife dating is full of ups and downs – and you’ve got to take the good with the bad. The fact is – you ARE going to get dumped. You ARE going to be disappointed. You can’t take any of it too personally – as this is just a part of life. The best thing you can do is to give her a little space, and see if she comes around … and if not, then you move on.
Why Does Someone Suddenly Stop Communicating with You?
I was reminded recently that “loss of interest” is only one of several possible reasons why someone suddenly drops off the face of the earth and stops communicating. Here is a short list of possibilities:
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She is back with a prior boyfriend
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You said or did something that she found offensive or stupid
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You forgot about something that was very important to her
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She had a family emergency
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She had an accident or is really sick – possibly hospitalized
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She is on 72-hour psychiatric hold
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She was the subject of an intervention, and is now in rehab for thirty days
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She is in jail
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Some combination of the above
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Something else
12/2/2007 UPDATE – input from reader Cyndi, Age 45:
12. You are terrible in bed
13. You are selfish in bed
14. You are not equipped to satisfy her (ouch!)
We’ll take a look at each of these, and suggest a midlife bachelor course of action for you to consider in each case ;o)
She Has Simply Lost Interest in You
Losing interest in someone happens all the time. Often as you get to know someone, you start to look past the physical aspects that originally attracted you to that person. As I’ve said elsewhere in this site – the older we get, the better we become at knowing what we like and don’t like. For me – I can usually tell within a week or two of starting to date someone whether they are going to wind up annoying me … and that often translates into what I have called a short shelf-life relationship (see the Short Midlife Article entitled, The One Night Stand at Midlife). The same thing can be true for women toward us men. You cannot fault someone for deciding you are not for them – so try not to take it personally. Of course, if you find yourself getting repeatedly dumped, then you probably need some help … which is what the Midlife Dating Advice section of this site is all about. You might need a physical and/or a personality makeover (see the Midlife Bachelor Personal Makeover section) … or you might need to fine tune your dating strategy (see Develop a Strategy for Midlife Bachelor Success).
If the woman you were dating did suddenly stop communicating with you, my suggestion is that you try to call or email her exactly twice … and if you do not get any response, then leave her alone and give her some space. The last thing you want to do is hammer her phone or her inbox – because that would make you the male version of what I call out in Types of Women … a stalker, psycho, jealous, or possibly a showgirl. Keep your self-respect and your dignity – call or email her twice, and then do nothing further. If and when she makes contact with you again, listen to her explanation, and then decide if you still like her.
