People write in to ASK MIDLIFE BACHELOR with questions. An index of all Q&As is located on the ASK MIDLIFE BACHELOR INDEX page. Email your question in complete confidence to [email protected].
| OLDER MAN WORRIES YOUNGER GIRLFRIEND WILL STRAY | |
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DEAR MIDLIFE BACHELOR: Well thank you for taking the time to read this and I hope that you can help me please. I am 7 years older than my girlfriend. I am madly in love with her and would do anything for her. That being said I am older than her and she is a sexy vibrant young woman and takes very good care of herself. Well as we all know life is not kind to you when you get older, and of course my body does not work as well as hers does, and I work out and take care of myself but I am not 21 anymore if you know what I am saying. It is a lot harder for me to stay in the kind of shape I feel she deserves. I am so worried about her finding some young guy that can eat five double cheeseburgers and his body does not change but I eat one and I have to run a mile and half a day for the next week just to make sure it dose not stick around. LOL Should I be concerned? What can I do? Let me finish this by saying she tells me all the time I
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| am perfect and wonderful and she loves me for me but I still have the concern. Please help me.
MLB ANSWER: Seven years age difference is not really that many … maybe you meant 17 instead of 7? Regardless – I know what you are saying about our bodies changing as we age. I’m 44, and in my mid-30s I discovered that I could no longer eat anything I wanted without gaining weight … and that happens to just about everyone at some point. You said that you work out … as do I … and that is one excellent way to maximize your own good health over the long run – so nice job. Nice work also on having a younger girlfriend. If she is going to stray away from you – then that is just fate, and you’ll have to deal with it. For right now, I’d recommend that you appreciate what you’ve got and definitely enjoy the ride! Besides – who is to say that if your younger girlfriend leaves you that you won’t wind up with an even hotter girlfriend in the future? That is definitely possible. You know – you might enjoy the midlife crisis story about my older neighbor, Gil, who after being married for many years (then divorcing) wound up dating a 21-year old hot hot hot Latina stripper … see the Wake Up and Smell the Coffee section under Midlife Crises Happen for a Reason part of Your Midlife Crisis – all here on midlifebachelor.com. Again – my point is that anything is possible … don’t assume that your happiness depends on the long-term outcome or success of the relationship you have right now with this one younger woman. Now for whatever reason, it sounds to me like you are a bit insecure about your age and possibly your appearance. There is no quick fix for someone who is insecure – but I can recommend that you maybe take inventory of yourself, and figure out what your own personal strengths are, and also your weaknesses. The idea here is that you leverage your strengths, and minimize your weaknesses with respect to women and your relationships. I discuss this in depth in the Midlife Bachelor Personal Makeover section … there are subsections on Personal Appearance and also Attitude Adjustment/Mental Makeover so you might check those out just for reference. The idea here is once you make an effort to really understand yourself and your own behaviors – you can then take some positive, proactive steps to fine-tune yourself … which will give you more self-confidence in the future. You might consider joining our Midlife Discussion Forum here on midlifebachelor.com. We have a lot of men and women in the 30s and 40s who share their views on different issues – including dating and relationships … so consider becoming part of our community, and sharing what you are learning about yourself. The whole idea with the forum (and with this website overall) is to Leverage the Midlife Knowledge … which means learn from one another! In the mean time, just enjoy that younger girlfriend of yours … appreciate what you have right now, and try not to worry about anything until something actually changes. You’ll only get more gray or bald if you worry, right? |
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