People write in to ASK MIDLIFE BACHELOR with questions. An index of all Q&As is located on the ASK MIDLIFE BACHELOR INDEX page. Email your question in complete confidence to [email protected].
| OBSESSED WITH HIS OWN SIZE DEAR MIDLIFE BACHELOR: I dated a girl for 1.5yrs from the beginning she has told me I have the biggest ROD she has been with, even going so far to brag to all her friends and co-workers, and would even tell people when she was drunk (not knowing I am in ear-shot). I caused her to bleed one of the first times we had sex. Fast forward to |
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the end of our relationship: she catches me cheating a first time, but still wants to stay with me and move in with me, she catches me cheating a second time! And still wants to continue dating! Although now she is very untrusting and is always questioning …one day over the phone she tells me that the guy before me was much bigger, but immediately takes it back, however it prompted me to tell her that I had actually cheated on her with five other women and am currently dating another. [I was extremely faithful to this woman up until the last few months! We were in a long distance relationship MI – CA. She would get all over my friends and even my cousin right in front of me. I stayed with her too…but over time and just arguing on the phone I began to realize I couldn’t spend my life with her! I knew she would continue to hurt me, when I tried to dump
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her she would cry and cry and I suppose I am a softy for that so I stayed, but I eventually began to transition over to other women…in short, I was hurt badly before I decided to cheat on her.] So recently she started again saying that the guy before me was much bigger and the only reason she said I was big was to not “hurt my ego.” Now she is even saying that several of her previous hookups were bigger! She sounds sincere when she says this! I can’t tell if she is lying to me now to piss me off or if she was lying the entire time to “make me feel better”. MLB ANSWER: Your question takes first prize for originality – I’ve never had a question like this one before! I’ll give this a shot – and I’ll also post this question over on the Midlife Forum for possible input from both men and women. [Here is the actual thread entitled Size Obsession? ] Here’s my take – I don’t think it matters what she thinks! It is fairly obvious that your relationship with this woman needs to end completely … and with that in mind, it should not bother you what she says or thinks. I’d say you have a large ego (which I’m not criticizing) … and that big ego is likely getting in the way of you ignoring what she is telling you. When I have a relationship that ends … and especially if the woman is saying things to bother me, then I practice the “out of sight, out of mind” approach … which means I won’t take her calls … I won’t open the door if she knocks … I just put her in my rearview mirror, and don’t look back! And that is what I suggest that you do with her – because she knows you have a huge ego … she knows you are sensitive about your “size” … and so she is deliberately trying to mess with you by hitting you where it hurts the most. Don’t give her that kind of power – just stop talking to her, and you will be fine. Put the tape measure down, and go find yourself a new girlfriend! |
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