In October 2008, we added a COMMENT SECTION to the bottom of each Midlife Article and ASK MIDLIFE BACHELOR question/answer - so that is where your feedback should be given today. Below is the feedback we received PRIOR TO adding the comment sections to each article page - we keep it here for historical purposes, and because we did receive a lot of excellent feedback. PLEASE DO NOT BE SHY about telling us what you like or dislike about our various articles, as we need your feedback to know if we are doing a good job (or a bad job). Also prior to the individual article/Q&A COMMENT SECTIONS, we used to place women's feedback with a gender bias on our WOMEN'S VIEW page. [Gender-based biases are always fine, by the way!] There is also our Midlife Forum - where you can discuss pretty much anything, and receive feedback from others.
Concerning Types of Women - Nymphomaniac (in Fundamental Truths about Women and Midlife Dating Today) ...
February 27, 2009 from Lilian: I don't know where you get your information from, but you might want to check your sources thoroughly. A nymphomaniac is nothing like what you explained. I have a very close friend who is a nymphomaniac and if you truly knew anyone with this condition you wouldn't have talked about it as if it is a gift of life because it isn't. A nymphomaniac is a women that has an abnormal sex drive and that can't function normally.. normally in the sense that sex gets in the way of daily activities such as chores, work, ect. and is never satisfied. Sometimes if the condition is bad enough medication and surgery have to be issued in order to control the urges. My friend is suffering from this condition and has to be heavily sedated in a psychiatric hospital. Otherwise she will have sex with anyone, anywhere, anyway and sometimes with up to more than two partners. I suggest you remove the information you provided on your website and do your research. Thank you for your time. Here is something to read for a start:
I responded to her with,
- Compulsivity: This is the loss of the ability to choose freely whether to stop or continue a behavior.
- Continuation despite consequences: When addicts take their addiction too far, it can cause negative effects in their lives. They may start withdrawing from family life to pursue sexual activity. This withdrawal may cause them to neglect their children or cause their partners to leave them. Addicts risk money, marriage, family and career in order to satisfy their sexual desires. Despite all of these consequences, they continue indulging in excessive sexual activity.
- Obsession: This is when people cannot help themselves from thinking a particular thought. Sex addicts spend whole days consumed by sexual thoughts. They develop elaborate fantasies, find new ways of obtaining sex and mentally revisit past experiences. Because their minds are so preoccupied by these thoughts, other areas of their lives that they could be thinking about are neglected.
"... I think there are different degrees of nymphomania ... and your friend sounds like she has an very extreme form of it ... a form that takes it well past being any fun ..."
and her response back was,
"I agree that there are different degrees to the condition but whether the condition is moderate or excessive it is still a condition and shouldn't be treated or talked about as a "gift". No matter what kind of degree it is and this is my honest opinion, it has it's negative effects on the lives of whoever comes across it. I don't mind my input being posted on your site, if it will help others to see things from a different perspective then I'm all for it."
Concerning the ASK MIDLIFE BACHELOR question/answer entitled Husband Has Overseas Girlfriend ...
December 14, 2008 from Deanne (who wrote in with the original question): Thanks so much. Your answer makes sense. It's really a difficult situation because I am not ready to leave him yet. Anyway, you're right, I have to stop checking on him to keep my sanity ... until such time he or myself call it quits. I want to preserve my marriage but if it's not meant to be, so be it. Someday, maybe, I would still find the respect, love, care and happiness I am longing for. I will definitely be your regular reader. Your site I thought is very helpful for a person like me. Just venting out the issue, I felt good already. It's been in my chest, I have no one to talk to, no one to cling to, and how in the world I found your site? Maybe God lead me to it. I will one day participate in the midlife forum. As of the present time, my life is sad and boring. I wish one day, I will learn to forgive, will learn not to hate myself at the same time, and learn to accept the reality. Only when this happen, I will find peace. I wish you success, I wish you a Merry Christmas and a Blessed New Year!
Concerning the midlifebachelor.com website overall - the harshest most severe criticism we've ever received came from Denise on the morning of November 4, 2008. I went ahead and posted her comments unedited in the Midlife Forum to see what others thought. Check it out ...
Harshest Feedback EVER about MidlifeBachelor.com
Concerning the midlifebachelor.com website overall:
March 24, 2008 from an Anonymous person: I don't know who you guys are BUT you have a great website. You guys are right on target. Keep up the great work.
Concerning the 14 Types of Women in the Fundamental Truths about Women and Midlife Dating Today section and also the MIDLIFE ARTICLE entitled, Seven Signs You Are Dating a Party Girl:
February 24, 2008 From Anonymous 29-year old female from Hollywood, CA: I also find the "14 types of women" section to be errant. Sure, these stereotypes exist, but unless the girl got her personality out of a Cracker Jack box, none of this gels and if it doesn't gel, it's not useful. In fact, I don't fall into any of these 14 categories, but I could see how my mood dependent actions and words on any given day would make me seem like any and all of these 14, plus quite a few you have not defined. Maybe the ones you haven't defined are in the minority of people in general... these are people who you may not have ever encountered. Granted, I'm also 14 years your junior... the people I've encountered socially are most certainly cut from a different cloth of circumstance and environment. Also, my life choices have been markedly different from even the people within my own social circles. What I really meant to say is that we are all the sum of our experiences, reactions, environments, and threads in time... you can't typify people. We are all unique. Generalizing only works because certain segments of the population are more impressionable and will pick up habits and attributes more readily according to what their peers expect of them, what they have gleaned from experience that it takes to survive within their niche in society. A trend toward flashy dressing party girls doesn't just materialize... it's that attention-seeking women notice that the particular men they are attempting to attract react more favorably to the scantily-clad... at least for the two hours in the bar when those women are observing this interaction. They don't see the two weeks of crying that comes afterwards when he's used her sexually and doesn't call and she can't figure out why... until she gets there herself. But if it worked for one girl, why didn't it work for her? So she tries it again, gets her hopes up again, and lands on her ass again. This isn't a type of woman... this is a social ill. Communication is broken in this scenario.
Concerning the MIDLIFE ARTICLE entitled, Seven Signs You Are Dating a Party Girl:
February 24, 2008 From Anonymous 29-year old female from Hollywood, CA: The psychological problems that lead women to go out and behave in this way are serious... feelings of not being accepted, not belonging, wanting to please, wondering what they're doing wrong and why they're attracting the wrong men to themselves, lack of self-esteem and self-worth. They are objectifying themselves to you in order to receive validation that should be coming from within, not from some jerk who is timing how long it takes to get her in the sack.
Concerning the MIDLIFE ARTICLE entitled, Five Types of People who Date Online - from a Woman's Perspective:
December 9, 2007 From Anonymous 45-year old female from Austin, TX: I have made so many incredible friends from my online dating experiences! I suspect your friend, Barbara,may not have gone at it from the right angle. Being a relatively attractive female I didn’t want men to talk to me simply because I was good looking. We all know looks don’t last forever. I always “sandbagged” on my picture. In other words, I put up a picture that looked nice enough. Using photos over a few years old or glamour shots is misleading and will destroy any potential trust. This really helped in not attracting several classes mentioned in the article. If they earned a meeting they would be pleasantly surprised.
Twenty-five percent of the men online that are claiming to be single are not in my experience. Another quarter have too much baggage for my taste. I learned that about 2 years after a divorce - when most people were past the crazies that follow the end of a relationship. That leaves 50% of the prospects that get past a few chats. The chats revealed intelligence and sense of humor. I never met anyone live that I could not find in an online search. Checking county records told me if they gave me their real name. Is there a second name on the deed? I always met for coffee first and usually parked around the corner from the coffee shop so they didn’t have my license plate number. Being cautious is smart. Like the old saying goes “Trust your neighbor, but brand your cattle.”
True chemistry is elusive, as it should be. The reward is there if you stay the course and play smart/fair/safe. My brother, my ex husband, co-workers and my ex boyfriend have all married women they met online.
Midlife Bachelor Response: Very nicely put and encouraging - thank you! I especially like the (obviously Texan) saying you mentioned, "Trust your neighbor, but brand your cattle." The only thing close to that which we have in Southern California might be "Nothing demonstrates commitment more than a restraining order." ;o)
Concerning the MIDLIFE ARTICLE entitled, She Suddenly Stopped Communicating with You:
December 2, 2007 From Anonymous 45-year old female from Austin, TX: You left out some good reasons that women stop calling or wanting to date a man:
1) You are terrible in bed
2) You are selfish in bed
3) You are not equipped to satisfy her
The truth is some women, like men, like a partner that is well-endowed. Perfectly sweet women have told me they didn’t give a guy a return engagement due to this one short coming. Anonymous, Age 45, Austin, TX
Midlife Bachelor Response: Excellent feedback, ma'am. I just now added your comments to the end of the article ... and added some of my own elaboration to it. Thanks!
Concerning the MIDLIFE ARTICLE entitled, Are Midlife Men Attractive to Women in their Twenties?:
October 19, 2007 From Cyndi A, Age 45, Austin, TX: Many guys in their 20’s are chasing older women… They want confident women that know what to do in the bedroom. Most younger women lack skills, I’ve been told.
Concerning the midlifebachelor.com website overall:
October 17, 2007 From Francis J, Age 57, Austin, TX: I love your site. I am a midlife woman and I couldn't stop reading all of the articles because everything you describe about women is also true of men. I have dated the stalker, attention whore, psycho and all the other types in male form. The types are archetypal and so pertain to all humans.
I love the guy who came over drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor (MIDLIFE ARTICLE: Drunk Friend Shows Up Late at Night). I have friends like that too. And I would have had a few tequila shots with her as well.
I'm bookmarking your site. I got a lot of information about men from it and most midlife women would enjoy it.
I found your site through a blog called, MidlifeGals. You would love the two women who write the blog. They are fun and cute and profane and yet seem normal...like you.
Thanks and keep up the good work. The writing is clean and good.
Concerning the midlifebachelor.com website overall:
From Tom M, city and age unknown. This is the greatest website in the world. So honest, true, fun and HELPFUL!!! Good job. I'm reading the WHOLE THING twice!! Rock on! Tom
Concerning the midlifebachelor.com website overall:
From Donny in Wisconsin via his StumbleUpon site review of me. You can check out Donny's Stumble page by going here: http://bleem-filk.stumbleupon.com/
Generally speaking (as most of you are aware) I do not promote ventures or non-SU websites in my reviews. I really need to make an exception, however, when they are exception-AL: as is the case with Greg's "midlifebachelor.com"! Running the gamut from A to Zeal, 'So Cal' is def not LOW cal when it comes to tasty tidbits of indispensable info here: from ED (it's not Wilbur's horse, kids) to divorce, prostate probs, sigmoidoscopy (for those afraid that it's tantamount to the Chrysler building up your crack), and even a phun poll (Are you attracted to women with big asses?...I picked "hell yes, I am" and much as I suspected, so did the majority; take THAT, you slinky sleep-inducing supermodelz!!!) It's funny, Greg says that "I have many female readers ... and they give me more feedback than the male readers do. Go figure!" Hey, it's a no-brainer dude: the women, they be wantin' their men to be agin' fine as wine with a great behin'! (My ex-wife opted for the "wish-you-were-dead-so-I-could-take-the-insurance-and-partay-in-Miami-Beach" 'tude, but that's for another program:) I am going to start heeding these tips early; you don't have to be at 'midlife' to benefit from the wellspring of wisdom found here...and, so should you)))
You can read Donny's and other reviews of midlifebachelor.com by visiting this page: StumbleUpon Reviews of Midlifebachelor.com
Concerning the MIDLIFE ARTICLE entitled, Removing a Parent from Life Support
From Martin, Age 71, Ft. Lauderdale, FL: I am sure he felt truly blessed with your decision. I know I would be and I have made it very clear, signed every document, done everything I possibly could to ensure that I will not be kept on life support--I want to think that if I reach that stage that I would have a moment of clarity before hand so that I could end my own life--I don't want to suffer and I don't want those who love me to suffer.
Concerning the section entitled, Erectile Dysfunction and You
From Joe, Age 42: What a great site! I'm 42 years old. I separated from my ex-wife in May 2006, and my divorce became final earlier this month! What an adventure it's been. I read with interest your article on ED. I laughed at the parts where you describe dealing with the receptionist, and being embarrassed. I went through a bout with performance anxiety that was causing ED. My main problem was with using condoms! I worried I would lose my wood before I got them on, and it turned out to be a self-fulfilling prophecy. I had a particularly embarrassing episode of this problem with an old friend I dated (and yes, I know it was a BAD idea to date a friend). I had fantasized about this woman for years, and then when I had a chance, FAILURE! It made me freak out and doubt myself big time. Anyway, I have a girlfriend and am doing well with wood now. But I sure wish I'd read your stuff earlier. I imagine it makes lots of guys feel better (not just the ED stuff, but the various tips and insights too.)
Anyway, good job. Take care!
Concerning the MIDLIFE ARTICLE entitled, Midlife Gym Phase
Lynnette in the United Kingdom: Your living my life. I'm exactly like you - going to the gym, then not... I have plans on going back in September to have the same old grilling from the personal trainers I plug the ear phones into the music channels when I'm on the cross trainer, darn that machine's a killer, I bought one to use here at home just to get me back in the swing of things, I'm so unfit, and I don't know if your gym is the same as ours, but don't you find the whole dress code a bit much, they are so fashion concious, you have to wear the ''right '' gear or else you look plain weird, I'm dreading buying the gym kit. I don't know what the girls are wearing over there now, it's been 2 years since I was there, and it has to be all brand names in the right colours. well anyway, im rooting for ya, good luck, you can do it. I'll spare you my sweaty butt story this time have a laff sweetie.
Concerning the MIDLIFE ARTICLE entitled, Midlife Hair Crisis
From Lora in Florida: Bald is attractive, either shave it or go the do nothing route. It's how you feel about yourself is what you'll radiate and if you're radiating insecurity it'll show, soooo, love thyself and you'll be just fine. I walked all my life until about 7 years ago and am now permanently in a wheelchair.... it was a hard pill to swallow, but I've accepted it and me, and honey, I'm loved, looked at and hit on just as much as when I walked, I'm just rollin now. It's all about how you feel about you!