SHOULD SHE GET BREAST IMPLANTS AT MIDLIFE?
DEAR MIDLIFE BACHELOR:
This is something that I'm really wondering what to do about. My husband left me after 21 years of marriage - he said at the time -he loves me but is no longer "in love" with me. BTW, what is that supposed to mean anyway?
This was about 2 years after he made a LOT of money and I turned 50 (but look 10 years younger).
We didn't fight, have 2 great kids, I'm still slim and keep up my looks and we had regular great sex (well as regular as people married for 20+ years).
We had a long drawn out unpleasant divorce, mainly because I didn't roll over and accept the scraps he wanted to throw me. One month after our divorce he was engaged to a booby bleached blonde.
Ok, I'm a little bitter, but figure it's his loss and he never appreciated what he had.
Here's my dilemma - I've always been very small chested (barely A cup), but fortunately attractive
and my dates (and ex husband) never seemed to mind.
Now facing dating again and hoping to find one of those rare decent men who doesn't mind dating an attractive, intelligent, fun loving (and wealthy) woman their own age, I'm feeling too embarrassed to think about revealing my body since (although I'm slim and fit) my breasts (or lack of) make me feel very self conscious.
I certainly would like to have (slightly) larger breasts and would feel more self confident and feminine. At the same time I resent "having" to do this to feel attractive and desirable. The operation seems scary and painful, but maybe worth it.
What is your opinion? Is this as important to men as I think it is? My ex remarried someone with large breasts afterall - maybe he felt "cheated" all these years?
Can men tell if you have implants? If so, do they dislike the way they feel? I don't mean the large, round "baseballs under the chest" look, but a just want to be a B+ or maybe even a C, but nothing more.
If I do this, do I deny it if asked or fess up? It goes against my principles on one hand, on the other hand why not improve on nature - nature can bless you in some ways and cheat you in others (I'm also only 5'1"). To make matters worse, my beautiful daughters (ages 18 and 21) both have very nice size breasts which remind me of what I'm missing.
Thanks for your opinion. I need to settle this soon.
MIDLIFE BACHELOR ANSWER:Here is what I can tell you. First of all - boobs are an accessory ... not the main event. For me - I view them as a BONUS. They are nice to have ... and may be initial attention-getters (ha ha), but if that is all someone offers - then brief and shallow relationships are more likely.
Now you state that you have A-cups ... and you feel that your breast size is an obstacle or possible barrier to success with respect to meeting men. There is no harm or shame in having a breast enlargement procedure performed - I think it could give you added self-confidence ... an ego boost ... and it could have also help out with that initial attention-getting effect I mentioned earlier. You said you are wealthy - so since money is not an object, I'd say go for it. Be sure to send in BEFORE and AFTER pics here! ;o)
Nothing about midlife dating is easy. It is a tremendous personal growth experience - and I think you'll be just fine either way. I can tell from your email that you are very intelligent ... as your spelling and grammar are perfect ... and that is not something that is super-common. You also state that you have big bucks ... and that, too, is rare. Just being fit and attractive at 50 is great ... so don't discount yourself too much. You don't need big boobs to land a new man in your life. Think of them like a Gucci bag - nice to have, but not a necessity!
If you do get breast implants, I'd suggest not denying them, if asked. There is no shame these days (not where I live anyway - Los Angeles area). I think the best policy is ALWAYS honesty - no matter the subject.
Concerning your ex-husband who said he loves you, but is not "in love" with you ... that just means that the relationship wore out. There are many different kinds of love out there - my guess is that he had somewhat of a midlife crisis ... thought he was missing something, and bailed out. This is something that you cannot control - all you can do is make the best out of it. Now it sounds like he got himself what I call a "trophy" wife - and there is some chance that choice will eventually result in the bad karma he created with you to catch up with him. Or maybe not. Either way - try not to be concerned with him. You should live your own life ... move forward ... don't look in the rear-view mirror ... because you have a lot to offer someone new ... someone who WILL appreciate you.