CHEATING HUSBAND LEAVES PREGNANT WIFE AND KIDS
DEAR MIDLIFE BACHELOR::
I need your opinion on my situation. My husband left me when we were out camping in April 2013, and only sent a text message saying he hadn't been happy in a long time and he had left. Things were very difficult for myself and the kids. We have 3 children together and I am also raising his children from a previous marriage.
I then found out via social media that he was living with a girl he met at a truck stop in a different state. At the end of May 2013, his eldest child got sick and he came to see her. He then started the whole I have made the biggest mistake and want to come back thing. I allowed him back into
my home and our lives. After 3 weeks he then went away saying he was going to look for work. Everything seemed fine. Then after a week he said he wasn't coming back. He didn't say why or anything else. He didn't contact me or the kids for 3 weeks after this and when he did he said he had gone back to the other woman.
I was absolutely devastated. The kids were heart broken. When we are in contact via phone he is nice to me when he is on his own, but nasty when she is around. I have recently found out that I am pregnant with his child. When I contacted him he said it's not his and not to bother putting him on the birth certificate. He has been gone for 4 months now and has not seen the kids once. This is breaking all our hearts. If I send him a text message he usually replies but lately I have sent a few that he has not replied to and when I have asked him about it, he says he hasn't received them. He says he misses the kids and wants to see them but he can't. Is this because he's not over me and doesn't want to see me or just that he doesn't know how to do it? We had been together for 10 years and this is the first time he has ever been like this. He is like a totally different person. I had a psychic reading about 2 months ago and it told me that I was going to have another boy and he would be back in 3 years so not to worry that everything was left here. I am trying not to live with that thought and to move on with my life but it is so hard. Please do you have any advice??
MIDLIFE BACHELOR ANSWER:Thanks for writing in - and yes, I do have some advice. I think you should do everything possible to divorce your husband immediately, and start to move forward with your life on your own. I do not at all think you should pay any attention whatsoever to what a psychic says - I'm sorry but that is all just nonsense. Why would you want him back? He will simply do what he did again - because that is exactly what the majority of people like that do. He has already left you behind ... while you are pregnant with his child ... and while you are also raising his kids from his previous marriage. That all speaks volumes about his character ... you will never be able to trust him again. And concerning his children from his previous marriage (which you continue to raise without him) - I'm really not at all sure what to tell you except that him leaving you with them (and him not taking care of them) is one of the worst things I've heard here recently. You are definitely better off without that guy in your life.
Really the best thing you can do is to immediately put yourself on the road to recovery. You can eventually find someone else who will value you, and treat you with the respect you deserve. I have a different article here on midlifebachelor.com dedicated to people who have been cheated on, and need to recover. Please check it out - and consider reading the book I wrote on the subject, entitled "How to Successfully Recover from Having Been Cheated On". Here's a link to the article:
How to Deal with a Midlife Crisis Affair and Divorce
Good luck - please let me know how things work out. You will be just fine - especially if you put your husband into your rear view mirror as soon as possible.
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