CANNOT KEEP A GIRLFRIEND VERY LONG DEAR MIDLIFEBACHELOR : I am 36 years old, and I never seem to have a girlfriend for very long. What can I do to turn this situation around? Brian K, age 36, Portland, OR.
MLB ANSWER: You have not really given us enough information. It sounds like you can GET a date, but getting a second date is problematic. It might be your personality – how you conduct yourself around women. Or it could be that you are going after the wrong type of woman. Or both. I suggest that you check out the Dating Advice section of this site, and pay particular attention to The Midlife Bachelor Personal Makeover for starters, as you might have some appearance and/or (more likely) personality challenges. After those potential issues are addressed, you will need a strategy – so be sure to read Develop a Strategy for Midlife Bachelor Success.
SHE WOULD BE PERFECT IF SHE WERE NOT SO JEALOUS - ARGHHH!
: I’ve been dating this woman for about a year, and she is a pretty good girl. Nice looking, professional, and level-headed in many respects. But she is extremely jealous and always accuses me of looking at some girl, or of talking with one of my ex’s, etc. How can I get her to stop being jealous? She would be PERFECT if only she were not so jealous. George R., age 46, Phoenix, AZ MLB ANSWER: You did not state how old the woman you are dating is, but assuming she is at least age 30, it is a very safe bet that she will ALWAYS be the jealous type. You have two choices – cater to her jealousy and deal with it as-is, or cut her loose so she can become someone else’s problem. Jealousy is a fundamental personality type (see Types of Women – Jealous), and is commonly paired up with attributes such as Showgirl (see Types of Women – Showgirl) and/or High Maintenance (see Types of Women – High Maintenance) and/or Psycho (see Types of Women – Psycho). If you decide to just deal with her jealous nature (and her other issues) by sucking it up, then recognize that it will likely get worse over time. The key question you have to ask yourself – is she really worth it? If you do think she is worth it, then ask yourself why you think so. It might be that you are afraid to be single (see Rebound – Does fear of being single drive your behavior?). You might need to reconsider your entire strategy – in which case I would recommend you read Develop a Strategy for Midlife Bachelor Success.
GO FOR IT OR RISK JUST BEING HER FRIEND DEAR MIDLIFEBACHELOR :On Friday night, I will be going out with a woman who I’ve wanted to date FOREVER. We’ve gone out twice recently, and the dates were more on the “friend” side of things – in other words, there was no kissing or anything at any point. I really like this woman, but I don’t want to blow it by making a move on her too soon. She is really conservative. Do you have any suggestions about how I should conduct myself on this date? Jim B, age 40, San Diego, CA