Over on our midlifebachelor.com Dating Forum - we've been talking about using a spreadsheet for this sort of thing since back in early 2010. We've had a few members who do quite a bit of online dating, and there have been several informal versions of a dating spreadsheet discussed. More recently, the topic came up again - and because it seemed like such a great idea, I decided to create an "official" version, and release it here. Sure - there will be critics to this approach, and that's fine because everyone is entitled to his or her opinion.
Here is why using a spreadsheet to keep track of the women you meet online is a good idea:
The dating spreadsheet becomes increasingly important as a function of the number of women you date. It is recommended if you are dating more than two women. I'd say it becomes HIGHLY RECOMMENDED if you are dating four or more women - how else could you possibly remember everything? If you are dating more than six women, then I recommend you track only the Top Six or so ... because otherwise just maintaining the spreadsheet could become burdensome.
You do need to have at least Microsoft Excel® 2002 or newer on your computer, or another spreadsheet program capable of reading .xls files. And you need to have at least a basic understanding of how to use Excel® in order for this to be something you can use.
[If you have any trouble downloading the Spreadsheet, and would prefer that I simply email it to you - just send me a note using the Contact Us page.]
Below are a few snapshots of the spreadsheet's EXAMPLE worksheet, and underneath is the "Legend" where you can see how the columns are scored, by default. [You can always change any of the point values to suit your own needs or preferences.] The default point values and columns are setup for a typical midlife bachelor ... and if you want to know WHY ... then recall that this comes from a website called midlifebachelor.com, which is run by me, and so many of my own preferences are reflected in it.
Rank is the numeric rank of the woman in that row. A rank of "1" means that she is the best ... she scores the highest. I don't have a macro that sorts by rank automatically - so you will need to cut-and-paste the rows, and manually type in a 1, 2, 3, etc.
Name is the woman's name, of course.
Description is something we use over on the Dating Forum when talking about our online dates. There have been good descriptive names in the past, such as "Trophy Latina", "Filipina Nurse", etc. Hopefully your date won't have a name like "Pimpler" or "Horseface". ha ha
Age is the woman's age.
Overall Score is the value that the spreadsheet calculates based on the remainder of the numerically-scored cells in the row, and this value is what is typically used to rank the women in your spreadsheet. The larger the number, the better ... because the spreadsheet uses either low scores or negative scores for undesirable characteristics.
Numeric Scores for Your Online Date
Here are the various default attribute columns, and an explanation of their score ranges:
Age Score 20s = +10; 30s = +15; 40s = +5; 50s = -15
Women in their twenties are bouncy and fun, but they are usually immature ... so they score lower than women in their 30s. Women in their 40s are just fine ... that is why they receive a positive numeric score. By the time women reach their 50s, things may not be looking so great ... and that is why they receive a negative score. There are exceptions to all of the aforementioned - so just use a score that you find most appropriate.
1st Impression 1 to 10, where 10 is the best possible impression anyone could make on you. Self explanatory.
Overall Hotness 1 to 10 where 10 is the best possible hotness rating. Sometimes ... for whatever reason ... you just find a woman to be hot. You may or may not be able to identify exactly why ... but you just know this woman turns you on. This is the score that goes along with that feeling.
Mutual Chemistry 1 to 10 where 10 is the highest point score. With every woman you go out with, you will either experience "chemistry" or you won't. And there are different degrees of this "chemistry". Scoring a 10 does not mean you jump into bed with her - but it does mean that the two of you are extremely "into" one another ... and you probably at least had an excellent make out session.
Fun Factor 1 to 10 where 10 means she is the most fun woman you can ever imagine. Some women are fun, some are not so fun. Fun is a good quality to have in a woman, and so that is why this attribute is included in the spreadsheet. By "fun" - I mean she makes you smile ... no matter what you are doing. That's fun. Getting a BJ is fun, and can hike up this particular score in a hurry. ha ha
Class Factor 1 to 10 which translates into how classy she is. A "1" might mean she is white trash or an escort and a "5" might mean she is middle class, and a "10" might mean she is a member of the Kennedy family.
Ass 1 to 10, self explanatory
Boobs 1 to 10, self explanatory
Face 1 to 10, self explanatory
Teeth 1 to 10, where 10 is perfect, white, delicious-looking teeth. Remember - dental hygiene is an indicator of overall hygiene, if you know what I mean.
Shaven 1 to 10, where 10 means her downtown area is shaved clean (which we at midlifebachelor.com find very attractive).
Sex by 3rd Date? 1 to 10, self explanatory. At midlifebachelor.com, we believe that a woman who is truly interested in you should definitely put out on or around the third date. After all, we are in "midlife" - we can't wait around forever!
Intelligence 1 to 10, where 10 means she is extremely smart. And if she is that smart, she might be able to support you. If you believe that "no brains = no headaches", then reverse the score ... so that highly intelligent is 1, and dumb as a rock is a 10.
Craziness 0 if normal; -10 if she is annoying when being crazy; -100 if she is violent when crazy; +10 if she is fun when being crazy, and you wind up in bed together.
On Meds? 0 means "no meds"; -5 for anxiety meds; -20 for depression meds; -100 if she needs meds to just be normal.
Annoyances -5 for every annoyance that comes to mind. For example, chews with mouth open, bad hair, 80s hair, 80s bangs, bad breath, booger on face, talks too much, mustache, etc. - each of those would earn a "-5" points. If an annoyance is particularly disgusting (like a downtown odor), you might hike up the negative point value to -10 or more, as appropriate.
Personality 1 to 10, where 10 means she has a great personality, and where 1 means she is a wallflower, and has the personality of a door knob.
Children at Home? -10 for every child she has living at home. -20 for every child under the age of 10. -50 per child if the child has behavioral, or other issues.
Job 1 to 10, where 10 means she has a great job and makes an excellent income. If she can support you (so you don't have to work), then give her an extra 10 points, too.
Money 1 to 10, where 10 means she is rich. 1 means she is on public assistance, uses coupons, and scrapes by. Just like with the Job score, if she is mega-wealthy and can support you, then give her an extra 10 (or more) points here.
Comments and Last Date / Next Date
The attributes just discussed all contribute to your online date's numeric score - which is important ... but they are not necessarily everything. There are always additional factors that don't quite fit into the numerically scored items, and so here is where those qualitative items are placed.
Bonuses This where any obvious bonuses should be briefly described. For example, if she is horny as hell, and constantly wants to jump you - then write in "horny as hell" here.
Minuses This is where any obvious drawbacks or minuses should be briefly described. For example, if she has a mustache then type "mustache" here. Or if she has an odor, then type that here. What you write here is probably the Number 1 "annoyance" you thought of when you gave her the numeric annoyance score previously.
Boobs/Ass/Face This is where you remind yourself what you think her best physical trait is - even if they are all scored a "10" previously, you still know which you like the best.
Last Date This is the calendar date that corresponds to the last time you went out with her.
Next Date This is the calendar date that corresponds to the next time you are scheduled to take her out. You typically want to keep her warmed up, and at least see her once a week - at the minimum. Otherwise you run the risk of becoming Backburnered - see the midlifebachelor.com article entitled, Front Burner, Back Burner Dating Strategy for an explanation of this.
Comments If you have anything else to add about the woman (good, bad, or in between), then type in your comments into the Comments cell. Gotta be brief! And when you move a woman to the ARCHIVES / BACK-BURNER section, be sure to add a remark or two about why she is out of your current rotation - just so you can remember later on. Over time, it can sometimes become possible or fashionable to DATE GREEN ... which means you can RECYCLE your dates ... but you want to first be sure they are, in fact, recyclable. For example, if they had a hygiene problem - then you would NOT want to recycle them, right?
Do you have any comments, questions, or suggestions for improving the Midlifebachelor.com Online Dating Spreadsheet?
We do plan to continue to update this over time, making official revisions as the need becomes obvious ... so please do share your best ideas for improving it below. [Please keep your language clean, and helpful in nature ... because this is some serious sheet. ha ha] Thanks - and good luck to you all!
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