When you were in high school, was there a certain good-looking teacher that you really had the hots for? A teacher that you fantasized about doing all kinds of nasty things to? A teacher whose class you couldn’t wait for? A teacher who maybe you knew liked you … and who talked with you on a very personal level … but who you never crossed the line with at that time for obvious reasons?
Me and my friend (who now lives in Iowa), and who I now refer to as "Cornfed" (because he lives in Iowa, and is essentially cornfed) had such a teacher. She taught history and social studies … she was ten years older than us when we were seniors in high school … which made her a ripe age twenty-seven at that time. This teacher’s name was Allison – I’m not going to use her last name, but I’ll refer to her as “Allison X” or “Mrs. X”. [I like the “X” reference because there were many impure thoughts about her racing through our minds at that time.] Cornfed and I were seventeen years old – and (like most 17-year olds) our veins were pumped full of hormones at that time … all we ever thought about back then was sex, and where the next slam dunk was going to come from.
Cornfed and I were not the only ones with a crush on this teacher. I think half the male student population at our high school was in love with her. Things were different back then (I think) – you never heard about teachers fooling around with students or vice-versa … this was back in 1982, to be precise. Anyway, while I was one of many with a teenage crush on this woman – Cornfed had a much more extreme crush. He was always talking about how much attention she paid to him … how he fantasized about doing this or doing that to her. This kind of talk from him about teacher Allison X was part of his regular demeanor … which means that on any given day, you could expect him to discuss her … versus the rest of us who maybe thought about her, but didn’t really obsess over her like he did.
THE HOT TEACHER OF YESTERYEAR IS TODAY’S BAR FLY
Fast forward to today. I live in the same city as I did when I went to high school. That same teacher is now fifty-three years old – and she still looks awesome … I’d say she looks 43, not 53. I have seen her around town for years … mostly at bars and restaurants. I first took notice of her probably six or seven years ago … when she was seated at a table next to me at happy hour at a local high-end Spanish restaurant. I remember telling my date at the time – “Hey – I think that is one of my old high school teachers at the table next to us – I’m gonna go say HI”. I’m not really shy so I walked right up to this woman, and said something like, “Excuse me, aren’t you Mrs. X?”. And she replied that she USED TO BE “Mrs. X” and that she’s been married and divorced a few more times since then … and now she’s “Mrs. Z” (she was “Mrs. Y” for a while, then became “Mrs. Z”, but is now divorced – four ex-husbands total). Anyway, she and I had a nice little chat … and then have proceeded to say HI and make small talk whenever we have seen one another around town since then … which usually happens maybe once a year or so. No big deal – nothing further to report from my point of view.
Last month, my friend, Cornfed, decided to come visit me from Iowa. Cornfed comes out to Southern California maybe once every two years to visit his mother, and to visit me. He is one of my old best friends from high school – a drinking buddy. Now, of course, Cornfed is married to his second wife … he has two children of his own (age 20/out-of-house, and age 12), plus his latest wife has four young children. So Cornfed lives with a wife and five children in a small town in Iowa. Although Cornfed is shackled by the Midwest family lifestyle he leads, he is still a party machine at heart. You just have to get him away from home, and he turns into a crazy man.
I mentioned that Cornfed was obsessed with Mrs. X in high school … and this still holds true today. When he brought Mrs. X’s name up a few years ago, I told him something like, “Oh yeah – I see her around town from time-to-time … she is somewhat of a bar fly these days.” Of course, this turned Cornfed into a question factory “What does she look like?” “Is she still hot?” “Would you do her?” etc. etc. etc. And since that time, whenever I would chat with Cornfed on the phone (maybe once every three months or so), he would always ask me, “Have you run into Mrs. X lately?” Continued on next page >>>