The following article was written by my good friend, Veronica Romm. You can read more from Veronica by visiting her blog at http://veronicaromm.wordpress.com/ I thought it would be great for the midlifebachelor.com readers to hear about some of the challenges of ending a relationship today - particularly when so many of our lives have become internet-dependent. How do you break up with someone politely and successfully manage the politics of de-listing them from your myspace or facebook or other pages??? These are great contemporary issues - and I'm proud to be able to offer you a woman's (Veronica's) point-of-view here. Enjoy ...
We have all been through a breakup and felt the inevitable pangs of pain, surges of tears and very real mourning period following the end of a relationship. In today's world, where social networking and social media can be a significant part of many of our lives, old fashioned heartbreak can be compounded by the "internet breakup".
Breaking up with someone with whom you shared your likes and dislikes, sent xoxo's and matched compatibility quiz results with on sites such as Facebook, MySpace, and, of course, Youtube, along with the many other social networks brings forth an entirely new set of issues. For instance, how long does one wait to remove from one's page the comments, photos, and "gifts" (sent while in the often delusional. blissful cloud of love) that stare back and now haunt you? This person was your No. 1 spot in your top friends for heavens sake! What is one to do?
Once these are removed and the STATUS in the profile changes from any of the oh-so-charming descriptions ranging from "it's complicated" or "in committed relationship" to "single", what is the proper etiquette for well-wishers and others who will invariably ask how you are coping, what happened, and other questions that may be sincere but can burn through the screen like molten lava? What to do with the bevy of comments left to make sure you "keep your chin up", that they are "thinking of you" and whatever other trite phrase delivered in glitter loitering in cyberspace like floating bullets in a Matrix-like freeze frame. Makes one want to pounce directly into a gaping void.
As in the traditional break up, there is always the division of "friends". The internet makes that division a blatantly public and often childish process. Do they "Defriend” you? Do you "Defriend" them? Who does what and how long until someone takes action? There is always that one first friend that is brave enough to make the friend switch. This person simply enjoys the new friendship more than the original friendship, yet inevitably puts themselves into the center of what may turn into a battle of loyalties, criticism and of course the unbearable insult of being Defriended. [They also risk negative posts and god knows what from the slighted party]. These friends that once felt Linkdin may experience the pain of being blocked, ignored or even... dare I say... spammed. Continued on next page >>>