| GIVE HOT AND COLD PSYCHO GIRLFRIEND THE BOOT | |
| DEAR MIDLIFE BACHELOR: My girlfriend of almost 6 years dumped me for the third time about six weeks ago. She has emotional problems, and often experiences "engulfment" and anxiety with regard to intimacy. I was so hurt, I sent her a civil letter addressing her intimacy issues. I never heard back from her. She is a therapist with Mom issues. We had this unbelievable chemistry together, but she would get scared after a hot night of sex or closeness and start distancing. The problem is, I fell so hard for this woman, and now it's like our six years together never meant a thing. I know I should move on. She did the complete cut-off with me. I tried to get her to reconsider the next day following the breakup, but she just turned ice-cold and mute on the phone. I just don't know if I can ever get her out of my heart or head. I am 53 and she is 55. We are both very attractive, intelligent professionals. I moved across town to be closer to her a few years ago. Every time I would bring up moving in together or marriage, she would change the subject, or flat out say that she is used to being alone. I have it in my head that I would like to stay friends with her, but I know if I heard her voice or saw her I would get sucked back into pining and longing for her. She has always done the >>> MORE - read this entire Q&A here |
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| YOU ARE A BACK BURNER BOYFRIEND | |
| DEAR MIDLIFE BACHELOR: A year ago, I dated a woman named Michelle. At the time, she had left me twice in the span of about two months, to go back with an abusive boyfriend I thought she was over. We had a lot of common interests, which is why I gave her another chance the second time she came back, before leaving again. I really wanted it to work. Well, since then I had moved on and she has proceeded to contact me, every few months or so, emailing me to say she has "moved on" from her past relationship with him and that he moved away. It is always the same wording "move on". I don't know what she is trying to say, but I generally ignore her emails, although I am still interested, in all honesty. I am trying to hang tough. Please let me know your perspective. MIDLIFE BACHELOR ANSWER: I think you are what I would call a "back burner boyfriend" for Michelle. She goes to you in between whoever else she is seeing. There is nothing wrong with that - just the way she is. >>> MORE - read this entire Q&A here |
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| RICH MIDLIFE BACHELOR CANNOT FIND LOVE | |
| DEAR MIDLIFE BACHELOR: As I approach my 52nd birthday, I find myself a never married man with no prospects. Most of my relationships have lasted one to three dates over my entire life, and many of the women that I have had sex with were brief encounters (one night stands, not prostitutes). I was engaged once, but she had a problem with alcohol that ruined things. It seems that the women that I wanted a long term relationship with the most were not interested in more than friendship with me. The women that were most interested in me, were either not very attractive or had way too many problems and drama in their lives. Now, I know that attraction is not the only criteria for a successful relationship, but if I am not attracted to a woman, then I can't see a future with that woman, other than friendship. I have however felt strong feelings for a few women that most would not consider very attractive. They too liked keeping me as a friend. I think that when someone tells you that they want you as a friend instead of a mate or lover, it means that they are not attracted to you sexually. At this age, I find that most single women I see would consider themselves too young for me. I am reluctant to ask out women that are obviously twenty or thirty years younger even if they seem slightly interested even if I really want to ask them out because I don't want to be embarrassed at their reaction at the age difference. I've had a couple women to agree to go out only to cancel when they found out my age. >>> MORE - read this entire Q&A here |
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| LACK OF CONTACT AFTER A GREAT DATE? | |
| DEAR MIDLIFE BACHELOR: Hi, I'm a 39 year old woman who recently went out on a date with a 51 year old man. During the entire date, we both appeared to have had a great time. We held hands, hugged, laughed, talked about many topics. At the end of the date, he mentioned he had a wonderful time and wanted to see me again. He asked for a kiss but I was a little apprehensive because we were near where we both work. I just didn't want to display intimate accounts of my life near our workplaces. When he leaned over to kiss me he opened his mouth, whereas I kept mine closed because of the aforementioned circumstances. It went well, the only thing I can mention is the fact that he spoke a lot about his ex-wife (they have been married and divorced to each other several times), and the fact that they still live in the same apartment complex. This raised a red flag for me since I felt he's not entirely over that relationship. He insisted it's over and they have been >>> MORE - read this entire Q&A here |
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| FACEBOOK / MYSPACE IMPLICATIONS DURING DIVORCE | |
| DEAR MIDLIFE BACHELOR: We (your friends at SuddenBachelor.com) want to make sure you and the rest of the midlife bachelors see this short clip about how Facebook and other social internet sites can affect the outcome of a divorce. MIDLIFE BACHELOR ANSWER: This video contains exceptionally good advice. People going through a divorce or court case of ANY KIND need to be aware that anything they post online can certainly become fair game for any opposing attorney. And don't think that by deleting something that is already posted means that it is "gone" - because it is not! The best rule of thumb is - if you don't want anyone to know about something, DO NOT POST IT ON THE INTERNET!You have to carefully think through everything that you are posting on the internet BEFORE you actually post it - and ask yourself if there are any possible negative implications. If you are going through a divorce, you don't want to post anything (photos, stories, etc.) that could affect the perception of your ability to be a good parent. If you are in the midst of a financial negotiation, you probably do not want to post anything that implies you have a lot of money to spend. And (especially if you are Mel Gibson), you might consider pretending that anything you say is being recorded, so you should take extra care to >>> MORE - read this entire Q&A here |
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| SHOULD SHE GET BREAST IMPLANTS AT MIDLIFE? | |
| DEAR MIDLIFE BACHELOR: This is something that I'm really wondering what to do about. My husband left me after 21 years of marriage - he said at the time - he loves me but is no longer "in love" with me. BTW, what is that supposed to mean anyway? This was about 2 years after he made a LOT of money and I turned 50 (but look 10 years younger). We didn't fight, have 2 great kids, I'm still slim and keep up my looks and we had regular great sex (well as regular as people married for 20+ years). We had a long drawn out unpleasant divorce, mainly because I didn't roll over and accept the scraps he wanted to throw me. One month after our divorce he was engaged to a booby bleached blonde. Ok, I'm a little bitter, but figure it's his loss and he never appreciated what he had. Here's my dilemma - I've always been very small chested (barely A cup), but fortunately attractive and my dates (and ex husband) never seemed to mind. Now facing dating again and hoping to find one of those rare decent men who doesn't mind dating an >>> MORE - read this entire Q&A here |
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| DEALING WITH A MARRIAGE ULTIMATUM | |
| DEAR MIDLIFE BACHELOR: I am 42, and have been divorced for just over two years. I am fairly successful, own my own business, and have been fortunate to have been able to afford my alimony and child support without major hardship. For the past 8 months, I've dated a really wonderful younger woman (she's 29). We get along great. She comes from a good family. She can be a little selfish in her thinking at times but overall she is not really unreasonable with what she tells me she needs from me. I think we have good communication. If something is really important to her, I can tell because she will get really emotional quickly if I don't react the way she thinks I should. So it works, and it is a lot better than the relationship I had with my ex-wife which was boring and sexless with constant nagging and fighting. My issue is that my girlfriend is now insisting that we get married. This seemed to pop up kind of suddenly a week or so ago, somewhat out of the blue. She has not been married before, and says she wants to get married and have two children before she is 33. When I first told her that I am not sure if I am ready to do that, she got really upset >>> MORE - read this entire Q&A here |
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| END THE "BREAK UP" THEN "GET BACK TOGETHER" CYCLE | |
| DEAR MIDLIFE BACHELOR: So I have known my midlife bachelor since I was fifteen and he has been a mentor and best friend ever since, even when I moved out of state for about five years. When I moved back, we started messing around but he always said it could not continue because I have children and he is not in for that. After about a year and a half of on again off again dating, he went back to his ex of a decade to see if he made a mistake. After a year and a half, they ended it and I was the first one he called. We got it back on and he cheated on me a couple of times, probably more. He finally decided to be real about eight months ago, but when suddenly something bad happened with my ex (the father of my children), he said he did not sign up for this. I know he was not cheating because we were together every night and he started to behave as a father to my children. He broke up with me two weeks ago, stating that he cannot see himself parenting for another ten >>> MORE - read this entire Q&A here |
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| HOW TO GET PAST HER PLAYING "HARD TO GET" | |
| DEAR MIDLIFE BACHELOR: I'm a 39-year old man who has been divorced for just over a year. I've only dated a few women since becoming single, and am still not really comfortable with all the BS that dating seems to entail. It just seems like there is always something going on with someone you go out with that makes them less than ideal. Anyway, my question has to do with a woman who I've been out with six times in the past three weeks. She is also divorced, and has one teenage son. She is really pretty, and comes from a very respectable family here in town. She says she's only dated two men in the three years that she has been divorced, and neither of them lasted more than a few months. She dresses conservatively, and does not really party too much. When I compare her to some of my friends girlfriends or wives, she is definitely a "cut above" in just about every respect so I think she would be a really good woman for me to have a long-term relationship with. The issue with her is this: she still hasn't kissed me (or anything else). I mean we've given each other a hug and a peck on the last date but that was it. I would really like to make out with her and then have sex. [I've only had sex twice since getting divorced and those women did not last past date number 3, even though I wanted them to.] This woman just seems unapproachable and not really warm. I'd like to turn this situation around and make it more physical but I'm just not sure how to do it, and I do not want to scare her off. What would you suggest? >>> MORE - read this entire Q&A here |
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| HOW SOON IS TOO SOON (TO HAVE SEX)? | |
| DEAR MIDLIFE BACHELOR: I met a 37 year old man online. He has never been married; no kids. He lives about 1.5 hours away in the country; I live in the city. We have talked on the phone, emailed and met in person 3 times over the last 6 or so weeks. The three times we met were when he was in the city and the circumstances have been such that regular dates have not happened. During our first telephone conversation he asked directly if I liked sex. I replied honestly that I did (cuz I do). He apologized for his direct question but explained that his past relationships each involved a woman that did not like sex. It seemed this was important to him and I told him that I agreed sex is important in a relationship. After that there has been a sexual undertone to our conversations. The first time we met we simply talked and absolutely nothing physical happened. He admitted later he wanted to kiss me that night but refrained so as not to scare me away. The second time circumstances were such that I ended up inviting him over to my house. I have never invited a guy I met online to my house but my intuition was that I could trust him. We talked, cuddled and made out. I surprised myself with how far I went and how far I was willing to go with him. He was the one to stop things so that I wouldn't get the wrong idea. I >>> MORE - read this entire Q&A here |
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| MIDLIFE CRISIS AFFAIR GONE AWRY | |
| DEAR MIDLIFE BACHELOR: Usually people write in to me (midlife bachelor) with questions - but in this case, I'm asking MYSELF and THE WORLD the question about how Jesse James could possibly cheat on Sandra Bullock ... especially given who he cheated with (the woman in the photo - Ms. Michelle Bombshell McGee). When I think of a typical midlife crisis affair, I think of a man in his 40s who has been married a very long time to someone he has gotten bored with ... and because he thinks perhaps that life is passing him by, he goes ahead and samples the merchandise. Sometimes that sampling leads to leaving his wife and his previous life behind for something new and exciting. Sometimes things like that work out best for everyone involved. But I cannot possibly imagine how any of what I just said could ever apply to Jesse James' marriage to Sandra Bullock. She is one of the hottest actresses in Hollywood ... makes a ton of money ... loved and trusted Jesse James like no other ... and just received her first Academy Award ... when BOOM the word about this affair got out. Maybe this was a crime of opportunity for Jesse James. Maybe he thought he'd hit it, and that would be it >>> MORE - read this entire Q&A here |
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| DIFFICULTIES DATING CANCER SURVIVOR | |
| DEAR MIDLIFE BACHELOR: I am an Asian man in my mid-40s, and am dating a mid-40s woman who is a breast cancer survivor. After we had been out a few times, things started getting pretty hot and heavy at her place, and she revealed to me that she had recovered from breast cancer and had reconstructive surgery ... but that it wasn't pretty. I honestly didn't let it bother me since she still had breasts, they looked good enough to me, and she was attractive to me otherwise. On our next date which she initiated, we went back to her house and decided to have sex. However, as I tried to penetrate her, she was way too tight to get in. She then indicated she had this problem before, and that it was due to meds she takes for breast cancer treatment. I tried some more manual stimulation ... We finally resorted to her manually stimulating me to climax ... she handled it well and made me feel pretty good, but I have to admit it was a little disappointing that I didn't get "full service" as this was my first time sex coming off a divorce, and I had really looked forward to it. I went ahead and sent her flowers the next day since it was our first sexual encounter and I had really enjoyed it even though I didn't get everything I had hoped ... >>> MORE - read this entire Q&A here |
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| MID 40s BOYFRIEND TOO CHEAP FOR MID 20s MODEL GIRLFRIEND? | |
| DEAR MIDLIFE BACHELOR: I am in my mid-twenties and I am in a relationship with a man in his mid-forties. We both have never been married but are marriage minded. He has made it clear he wants to settle down and start a family. I am having issues with out relationship because I feel like he wants the benefits of having a younger girlfriend without the responsibility of one. I returned to college to get my degree after having a successful modeling career. Because of this, I don't have the income I use to have. Obviously he is at a different point in his life. He has a very successful career and is stable. He pays when we have dinner and we went to a resort for a weekend getaway. I am appreciative of this and always thank him. Recently my issue with him was relating to a more personal nature. I needed to visit the gynecologist and get an Rx for birth control but I don't have health insurance so I would have to pay out of pocket. I felt that because this was an issue that affects both of us, he should offer to help pay for it. When he didn't, it bothered me so I decided to talk to him about it. >>> MORE - read this entire Q&A here |
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| NEW JEALOUS GIRLFRIEND TURNS PSYCHO | |
| DEAR MIDLIFE BACHELOR: I've been dating this hot 38-year old divorcee for about three weeks, and I'd like to get your input on some things that have happened lately. I'm 42, and have been divorced for two years after having been married since I was 25 so dating is still kind of foreign to me. I met the 38-year old online, and we wound up in bed on our second date. She is very good-looking with maybe a few extra pounds on her but in the sack she is a monster. She makes a lot of noise when we f*ck, and usually comes multiple times. Each session we've gone at it 3 or 4 times which is great. In the short time we've been dating, I have become addicted to her sexually. And I have no problem with this. Actually it makes me think about what I've been missing out on all of these years. The issue is that I've noticed her doing some jealous-type things that I really don't like. And then real recently she had a major cow about something that was completely misinterpreted by her. Let me elaborate. Once when she thought I was in another part of the house, I came around the corner and saw her going through my cell phone. Not sure if she was looking at texts or call logs. Several other times, I did not actually SEE her doing this, but when I came back in the room where my phone was, I could see that its screen was lit up which means that she was handling it. Another thing that happened that I just noticed for the first time was that I saw her drive by my house very late at night. She does not >>> MORE - read this entire Q&A here |
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| NEW MIDLIFE BOYFRIEND IS FLACID | |
| DEAR MIDLIFE BACHELOR: Not sure the best way to say this so I'll just say it - my 48-year old boyfriend of three months has trouble becoming hard around me lately. I'm 42, and am in the middle of a divorce. I was married for 14 years, and have only been single for the past six months ... dating this new guy for the past three months or so. We live in different states and we've seen each other five times - about every other weekend. The first several weekends were great - he had no problem. But now I notice that he doesn't seem as interested in me. And the last two weekends I've spent at his house, he was pretty soft (I mean that in a literal sense). I didn't really question him about it - I thought maybe it was me, or maybe he's just losing interest. I had dinner with a different guy this past week, and after dinner turned into a total makeout session, although I didn't sleep with him. I guess I just wanted to know that someone wants me. Concerning my boyfriend, do you think he is just losing interest, or is this common in late 40s men? I have not dated since my late 20s, and I guess I'm looking for some guidance. What should I do, and what should I expect? MIDLIFE BACHELOR ANSWER: First of all - thanks for emailing in your photo. You are definitely a very good-looking woman, and you can be sure that all midlife bachelors would think you are hot. So try not to take what is going on with your >>> MORE - read this entire Q&A here |
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| MIDLIFEGALS.COM VIDEO RESPONDS TO MAN WHO WANTS GIRLFRIEND 20+ YEARS YOUNGER | |
My friends over at midlifegals.com decided to send me their own video response to the guy who wrote in who insists on dating ONLY women who are 20+ years younger than him. (Entire Q&A here is called Man Wants Girlfriend 20+ Years Younger (don't we all)?) I recently met these women in person - and they are just as fun and crazy in real life as they are in their videos. Give it a look ... You also might enjoy watching the midlifegals video comment on two other items here on midlifebachelor.com ... 1) MidlifeGals Video Comment on our 14 Types of Women, and even add a new type of their own. 2) MidlifeGals Video Comment on Shaving that Hairy Girlfriend of Yours |
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Top 10 Reasons to Dump Someone New Here is a great list of the Top 10 Reasons to Dump your girlfriend or boyfriend ASAP ... |
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Types of Men New Just for the ladies - here is a good list of a number of different TYPES OF MEN out there in the dating world ... |
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How to Write an Online Dating Profile Here is how to write a great online dating profile that will deliver excellent results. Using ANY of these suggestions will make you many times more attractive than your competition ... |
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Do I Have Erectile Dysfunction? This is a very sensitive topic - one that you cannot discuss with your friends. Read this to know if you really might have a problem, and what you can do about it ... |
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Dealing with Jealousy in a Relationship Dealing with jealousy can be incredibly challenging. Here are some early signs of jealousy, along with how you can address and possibly correct this type of behavior in someone you are dating ... |
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Are You a Hugger or a Space Invader? Are you a hugger, or a space invader? A hugger will hug you - and the episode will last just a moment or two, but a space invader will stay in your space, and violate you with their close proximity, and possibly their bad breath until you take action ... |
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7 Easy Ways to Save Your Marriage Improving your marriage doesn't necessarily have to involve huge changes on your part or your spouse's. Even relatively minor changes can make a big difference in the quality of a relationship. Here are seven easy ways you can improve your marriage. |
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Three Part Series on Identity Theft and Credit Card Fraud PART 1: Online Security - How to Avoid Identity Theft while Online PART 2: At Home - Avoid Identity Theft by Being Proactive PART 3: What to Do If Your Identity Has Been Stolen? |
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Dating a Widow Dating a widow or widower is not necessarily just for people older than 60. Women in their 30s and 40s become widows every day. Here is a good list of guidelines or things to think about if you are considering dating a widow ... |
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Is It Safe to Buy Viagra Online? Do's and Don'ts ... You can actually buy Viagra online without getting spammed to death - just be careful. Here are some tips. |
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Suicide is NOT a Solution for Relationship Problems No matter what kind of relationship and/or financial issues you have - suicide is absolutely NOT a solution to be considered. It is not fair to yourself, and definitely not fair to those who love you ... |
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Which Photos to Pick for Your Online Dating Profile You've GOT TO KNOW which photos to use, and which photos NOT to use for your online dating profile. Here is the advice men and women need ... |
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Best Reasons to Be in a Relationship There are definitely advantages to being in a relationship with someone you love. Here are some of the best reasons to be in a relationship ... |
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Advantages of Cheating on your Spouse or Girlfriend? Controversial Are there actually advantages to cheating on your spouse or girlfriend / boyfriend? Are there benefits to be realized … or gains to be had as a result of cheating? The answer depends on who you are ... |
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What NOT to Say About Your Ex When you are out with someone new on a first or second date, it is best to give some careful advance thought about how you will respond to questions about your ex ... |
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Is Your Smile Repelling Women? An unattractive smile can drive women away from you in a big hurry so do not neglect the obvious. Get those jacked up teeth fixed ... get your ass to a dentist ... or no one will want to kiss you ... |
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Best Reasons to Be Single You can be single, and be perfectly happy - the grass is not always greener. Consider these reasons for being single, and remember that being single does not mean being alone ... |
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Recessionary Holiday Gift Strategies for the Woman You Love or Hate $$$ No matter how GOOD or BAD your relationship is, the recession of 2008 is hitting us all hard this holiday season. Here are some strategies for coming up with that perfect gift in today's environment for your significant other ... |
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Know When She Wants Sex for the First Time Recognize the signals your new woman is sending out, and know when she is trying to tell you that she wants to have sex with you for the very first time ... |
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What to Avoid on a First Date No matter who you are - first dates are ALWAYS a challenge. To ensure the best possible experience for everyone, here are some things for you to keep in mind or avoid on that first date ... |
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Preserve Your Money - Lessons of Mid-October 2008 $$$ In today's volatile market, you have to take personal responsibility to PRESERVE WHAT MONEY YOU HAVE LEFT - and watch for the bargains that are surely coming. It is all up to you ... |
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Trust - the Foundation of All Relationships Trust can be lost in a relationship for many reasons, here is how to overcome a loss of trust ... |
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What Makes a Woman Turn PSYCHO? Some women (and men) are PSYCHO BY DEFAULT, while others are SITUATIONALLY PSYCHO. When you are dating a PSYCHO, you have to determine if it is really worth the effort ... |
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Advantages of Cheating on your Spouse or Girlfriend? Controversial Are there actually advantages to cheating on your spouse or girlfriend / boyfriend? Are there benefits to be realized … or gains to be had as a result of cheating? The answer depends on who you are ... |
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How to Write an Online Dating Profile Here is how to write a great online dating profile that will deliver excellent results. Using ANY of these suggestions will make you many times more attractive than your competition ... |
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5 Signs Your Husband May Be Realizing He's Gay Marriages dissolve for different reasons - sometimes it's because one partner's sexual orientation changes, or becomes clear for the first time. Here is what one woman went through, and what to watch for if you suspect ... |
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When to Send a Woman Flowers ♥♥♥ Knowing when to send a woman flowers is just as important as knowing when NOT to send them. Here are some good bachelor guidelines for when to / when NOT to send flowers, how many to send, what kind, etc. There is also some direct input from several of my female friends ... |
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Which Photos to Pick for your Online Dating Profile? You've GOT TO KNOW which photos to use, and which photos NOT to use for your online dating profile. Here is the advice men and women need ... |
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Going Green - Do One Green Thing Today If everyone did just ONE GREEN THING each day, think about how much better off we would all be ... |
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7 Signs You Are Dating a Party Girl Party girls are so much fun to date. Here are seven signs that your woman is a party girl ... |
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Are Midlife Men Attractive to Women in their 20s? Some women in their twenties are very attracted to midlife men because we offer things like stability, security, confidence, attentiveness, appreciation … knowing how to make a woman feel beautiful ... |
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Ever Been Someone's WORST DATE EVER? Being someones WORST DATE EVER is usually an accidental form of art. Here is the story of one such masterpiece ... |
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The "One Night Stand" at Midlife Is the “one night stand” at midlife the same thing it was when we were in our twenties? I believe the definition of the term “one night stand” changes with age – or at least it has for me ... |
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Removing a Parent from Life Support If you are curious about the types of things one goes through when removing a loved one from life support, then check this out. Definitely not for the faint of heart. |
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